A desperate woman
by katie049
Summary: "He hurt me, Tony," she whispered, and another tear slid down her cheek. Her eyes met his and Tony couldn't hold back anymore.   "Oh, Ziva," he murmured and pulled her against him.  Tag to 9x13 A desperate man


**A/N: Hey guys :) This is my version how the episode could continue. This is the first one I actually wrote in English, not only trnaslated. Leave a review. Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>You'll find somebody, some day."<em>

"_I'm not sure I want to. I do not think children and marriage are part of the plan for me right now. And I am perfectly fine with that. Perfectly … perfectly content with my life." _

"_Content. But are you happy?"_

"_Are you?"_

They decided to watch a movie after work. Ziva wanted it to seem like nothing happened. And Tony thought it was best if he just went with it. He knew she wasn't fine, even if she said so. He knew her too well. Maybe she didn't think that he didn't notice her teary eyes when she told him about the dinner they planned. He could practically hear her tears over the phone. He tried everything to cheer her up. He had encouraged her to marry him—to marry that bastard who hurt her so much. Because she was happy. That was all that mattered. And then this idiot had to kill that innocent woman. How could he? Did he even know Ziva? Did he know what she went through? Did he care at all?

He didn't. He couldn't. Anyone who had met Ziva briefly would have known that she didn't forgive things like that. Who forgives things like that? Nobody. How naive did he have to be?

Tony couldn't understand how anyone could hurt Ziva. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Her smile made him melt and he got lost every time he looked into her gorgeous brown eyes. The woman absolutely amazed him. He really couldn't understand—no, he didn't _want_ to understand—how anyone could hurt her.

Now she was sitting next to him in the car. She looked out of the window. Her long brown hair tumbled down her shoulders and her head leaned against the headrest. Her face was turned away from him and she was awfully quiet.

"Are you okay, Ziva?" He glanced at her, putting a hand on her shoulder, but then turned his gaze back on the street.

She turned her head to him and nodded slightly. "I am fine."

How many times had he heard this sentence from her? And how many times she did not mean it? This time was one of many. He decided to let it rest until they arrived at his place.

Again, she turned her head away from him and looked out onto the dark street.

The car drive seemed like it would never end, but when they arrived at Tony's place only ten minutes had passed. Tony got out of the car and grabbed his and Ziva's bags before they made their way upstairs into his apartment. Tony unlocked the door and they went inside.

Ziva took off her shoes and went straight into the living room. Tony let her because he knew she needed some time. He went into the kitchen and made tea. They usually drank beer during their movie nights but he figured that tea would be better tonight. After he finished he took the two cups and made his way into the living room.

Ziva was sitting in the corner of the couch. Her legs were tucked under her and her head lay on the backrest. Tony handed her a cup and sat down next to her.

She sipped her tea, then placed it on the table. She rested her head against the backrest again and looked out of the window. Tony's apartment had a beautiful view. The window was really big and you had a perfect view over a park and the city behind it. The soft gleaming light calmed her.

"You are not fine, Ziva," Tony said quietly. He placed his cup on the table as well and slid a little closer to her when she didn't turn around to face him.

"Ziva, look at me!" he begged, putting a hand on her arm.

She shuddered and took a deep breath. "I am fine, Tony. There is nothing to worry about!" she answered, but her voice was shaking.

Tony carefully stroked her arm and said, "We both know that isn't true."

And with that the first tear slid down her cheek. It was like he could sense it because he grabbed her arm and turned her around. When he saw the look on her face, it almost broke his heart.

Her eyes shimmered with tears and she looked so sad that Tony just wanted to hold her and never let her go again.

"He hurt me, Tony," she whispered, and another tear slid down her cheek. Her eyes met his and Tony couldn't hold back anymore.

"Oh, Ziva," he murmured and pulled her against him. Ziva no longer held back her tears. They coursed out of her eyes.

Tony held her close and stroked her hair. He whispered comforting words in her ear and cradled her. It was bound to happen, with all the emotions she had gone through in just two days. It was almost impressive she had held them back for so long.

They sat there for over an hour before Ziva stopped crying. Now she was sitting on Tony's lap and her head leaned against his neck. She had her arm around him while her other hand lay in her lap. Tony had his arm around her too and his other hand was stroking her cheek.

"I am sorry, Tony," she said, swallowing.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about, Ziva. I'm your best friend and I'm here for you," he responded and gave her a kiss on the head.

"I still cannot believe that I considered marrying him," she said.

"He doesn't deserve you. And I'm sorry that I almost persuaded you to marry him. I just wanted you to be happy, you know," he replied, looking down at her.

"It is not your fault either. You did nothing wrong. He is just a freaking bastard! Like I said, he doesn't appreciate me," she said.

"Yeah, but you shouldn't abandon your dreams because he hurt you. There are other men who can still give you a family and make you happy. Just don't give up yet!" He assured her and stroked her cheek. Ziva swallowed again and looked into his eyes.

"I am not sure if I want it anymore. I don't want to get hurt again. I just … It makes me weak, Tony," she whispered and a tear slid down her cheek. Tony brushed it away with his thumb and cupped her cheek.

"Look at me, Ziva. You are the strongest person I know. There is someone waiting for you and one day you will meet him. And he will give you everything you want. Even more," he promised her and pulled her close again. Ziva snuggled into him and let him caress her hair again. He was right. She shouldn't give up on her dreams just yet. She was young and had more chances to find someone who really loved her—who would be there for her and support her no matter what. Like Tony did.

Like _Tony_ did. She couldn't believe that she didn't see what was right in front of her. She sat up and looked at him.

"Tony, I am so sorry I didn't realize this earlier," she said softly and stroked his cheek. Tony was not sure what she meant but it wouldn't be long before he found out.

Because the very next moment Ziva kissed him. He was so surprised that he couldn't respond. When Ziva pulled away he looked in her eyes. There was a glimmer of hope in them, but he could also see the sadness.

When she was about to kiss him again, he gently pushed her away.

"No, Ziva. Not like this. You are hurt," he mumbled, and held her wrists.

"Tony, I thought this is what you wanted," she replied confusedly, sliding off his lap.

"Of course it is, Ziva! I want you more than anything else, but not like this. You're sad because he hurt you. You don't want me like I want you," he explained and searched for her eyes. But she avoided his gaze. "Ziva, don't get me wrong. I really want this!"

"It doesn't seem like it!"

"Ziva, I love you!" Tony shouted. And with that Ziva was quiet again. She looked at him, shocked, and didn't know what to say anymore. "See? That's the reason why it isn't right just yet! You aren't ready for it!"

Ziva looked down at her hands.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to try." When she didn't look up, he gently lifted her chin. "I want this, Ziva. But it isn't the right moment. It wouldn't be right. I want this to last. And like I said, you aren't just ready for it," he explained softly and stroked her cheek.

Ziva glanced up at him but quickly dropped her eyes down again. "I am sorry, Tony. I don't know what came over me. I am so sorry," she whispered, looking up again.

"I know, Ziva. You're hurt. That's all," he said, and pulled her close again. She snuggled into him and closed her eyes. These two days had been horrible. She almost married a killer. And even more importantly, she nearly hurt her best friend.

"You know, we've already taken a big step forward. We talked about it and here we are all cuddled up together," he said, playing with her hair. Ziva chuckled softly.

"And what is the next step?" she asked quietly.

"I will take you out on a date," he said and kissed her forehead.


End file.
